10 02 2010

and it takes a phone call or a letter or an email and reconnect and then we realize how long its been

i went for 6 months without talking, once, which was a very very very l o  n   g    t    i      m       e    f    o       r        [m             e]

…regret probably yes maybe

then a year, and more now,

and an email and  no reply and i realize again how hard it is to reconnect

selective reconnecting like selective hearing

[…i don’t know if i chose to not see you or not]

we all do it, selectingly, like choosing the rootbeer at the coke machine,

, push, button, get, drink,

close eyes, not see, see not, no idea, no thoughts, no nothing, no         no no no no no no more i can’t tell because i forgot to hear you and whatever did you say? i was too busy ignoring every god damn thing i can

but i’m right here, and so maybe i need to stop opening a pair of closed eyes and sometime  soon i might reconnect but its the  hardest thing [diamond and pearls before swine today, aren’t we all?]]]

she told me to just ring but she doesn’t ring anymore either so how can you take advice from someone who lost their voice?




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